


The Lagoon Company

by HotTopic97



Series: High School AUs [2]
Category: Black Lagoon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Actual names will be referenced in here, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - The Breakfast Club Fusion, Balalaika as Principal Vernon, Benny as Allison Reynolds, Dutch as Andrew Clark, Eda as Claire Standish, Gen, Here we go, I have such random ideas, I swear, I'm nerdy like that, Rock as Brian Johnson, Stereotypes, and Chang as Carl, he may or may not be unpaid tho, he's the janitor Carl, it's unREAL, not the one from Phineas and Ferb, starring Revy as John Bender
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-11-16 10:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotTopic97/pseuds/HotTopic97
Summary: A combination of Black Lagoon and arguably one of the greatest films of all time, The Breakfast Club, starring Revy as the juvenile delinquent, Eda as the stuck-up pampered girl, Dutch as the wrestler, Benny as the hipster, Rock as the pressured misfit, Balalaika as the no-nonsense principal, and Chang as your friendly neighborhood janitor.





	The Lagoon Company

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have NO clue where this came from. I just saw The Breakfast Club (GREAT movie, btw. 10/10 would recommend if you haven't seen it), and thought it would work with Black Lagoon, of all the anime I watch. And somehow it just...clicked. It was a good idea.
> 
> And then...this...happened. I also believe this is stemming from the stress I've endured as a high school student. I mean, overall, my junior year has been a great experience, but especially with my AP English class (specifically the research paper we're in the midst of finishing up), has been close to back-breaking and tear-inducing. XP 
> 
> I obviously don't own Black Lagoon or the Breakfast Club. The Breakfast Club is a good movie by itself, and I wouldn't bother changing it. If I DID own Black Lagoon however, Shenhua would get a LOT more attention. :) 
> 
> ...enjoy.

Saturday detention. What an equally abnormal and shitty way to spend a day on the weekend. 

Why?

Well, for one, it was fucking  _Saturday._  One of the two days she had away from a long-ass routine of the same shitty routine, tuning out boring adults who babbled on meaningless bullshit and handed out bullshit homework and assignments.  _And_  bullshit punishments. 

Not that she'd ever gave a shit about any of those, though. She could think of better ways to kill some time than sitting in a fucking library because she nearly wiped the floor with some shit-talking jackass. 

Yet...Revy was showing up anyway. She was showing up here to serve a punishment like some fucking goody two-shoes kiss-up. And for the life of her, she didn't fucking know  _why._  

She only had three cigarettes on her now, and was in need of a refill. What made things worse was that the little business she got those was busted not too long ago. The point was, she'd need more than three cigarettes to keep calm...well...about as calm as she could be...being confined to a library all by herself for however fucking long she was supposed to stay there. Revy could just  _see_ herself going crazy...like, caged beast-level crazy. She'd almost feel sorry for the miserable old bastards who'd have to deal with it and put the place back together. 

 _If_ they'd survive her wrath. 

She could just turn back. Find something else to do around town. Maybe...set the record straight with some younger kids (particularly that rich blonde Lovelace boy) who thought they were the coolest shit since toilet paper. Or target practicing with a few of the used beer bottles her old man spent what little money he had on. Or spend her weekend doing what  _should_ be fucking done: unwinding from the shitstorm the past five days in a fucking row unleashed upon her. She'd just gotten a brand new bottle of Bacardi from Bao before he got caught by the cops that she had yet to indulge in especially  _for_  last week. 

Not to mention that her old man probably got a hold of it and chugged it down already, the bastard. 

 _Fuck._  

Well...Revy was here. She was here, at school, where she was  _supposed_  to be. She had walked all the way here, and it wasn't like turning back and leaving was worth it; her legs were killing her. 

She let out a resigned sigh, and made her way to the front doors. 

_Let's get this shit over with._

* * *

"God fuckin'  _dammit_ ", growled Revy under her breath. She hadn't even stepped foot into the big-ass library, and things had  _already_  gotten worse. 

There were four other people who were sitting around, apparently serving the same sentence she was.

"Great", the redhead muttered, roughly pulling open one of the doors.  _"_ Just _fuckin'_  great." 

She was going to spend the next several fucking hours with  _dumbasses._ Solitude was bad enough, but to sit around in (pretty much) time-out chairs with morons was just  _fucked up._

And they weren't really the kind of morons that she could almost tolerate; like, the people she hung around with in alleys and stirred up trouble in her shitty neighborhood with. No, these suckers...they...

...well, it'd be best to list them off one by one. 

To her left was a fair-skinned chick that could only be described as "pampered rich girl". The angular plum sunglasses she had over her eyes, as well as her long blonde hair, as well as the bitch face she had on, said enough.

And not only was she spoiled rotten; she was fucking pretentious. Trying to come off as cool. Sexy. Or better yet, a "Queen", and failing to fool anybody. 

Or maybe it was just  _Revy_  who saw her for the useless whoreshe really was. 

Sitting diagonally across from her was a big, muscular black guy, with thin, silver sunglasses with black circular lenses, whose attention had immediately turned to Revy the second she pulled open the door. She would've mistaken him for some thug, if it weren't for the fact that she knew who he was. She didn't know his name, but she knew he was on the school wrestling team, having seen him, his coach, and some of his teammates load onto a bus a few weeks ago. She wouldn't be surprised if he was wrapped around little miss Mary Sue's finger right now. 

To the right of her was a scrawny-looking blonde kid--and by blonde she kinda meant platinum blonde, unlike the slightly edgy-looking Barbie doll across from him. He had on a loose orange shirt with a green leaf pattern, and his hair was so long it was put up in a wavy ponytail. Like his two other detainees, he had eyewear, but unlike them, they were just regular, rectangular-shaped glasses. Also unlike the other two, his attention was on a red Nintendo DSi. Hell, who even used _those_  anymore? 

 _Apparently_ this _fuckin' hipster,_ Revy thought. 

The last shit-heel in the room, sat in the table behind ponytail-boy, was an Asian kid with semi-unruly black hair and wide brown eyes. Other than that, with his white, short-sleeved dress shirt, blue necktie, and gray church pants, he looked like the perfect example of model student. Always getting good grades, making every single one of his teachers happy (or slightly less of a crotchety bastard), knowing  _everything_  about  _everything..._

Yep. He was a living, breathing goody two-shoes alright.  _Wonder what_ he _of all people did to get in_ here...

She heard the distinct  _click-clack_ of heels walking on the hallway's linoleum floors, approaching the library doors. Revy didn't even need to turn around to see who was coming in. She knew _exactly_  who the fuck it was. 

The door opened, and the woman walked in.

One look from her ice blue eyes was enough to slow her angry thoughts to a screeching halt.

She scowled at her, but found herself nonetheless sulking over to one of the hexagon-shaped tables off to the far right, roughly pulling out one of wooden chairs and plopping her ass down on it, burying her face in between her arms. 

"Well, well, well", the steely voice of Principal Balalaika cut through a momentary lapse in silence. "I see everyone has shown up. On  _time_ , as well. It's almost admirable. Even for  _you_ , Miss Rebecca." 

The redhead didn't bother correcting her on saying her real name. Nor did she bother coming up with a biting retort. 

"I would advise putting that away", Balalaika told the hippie kid. "Unless you'd rather have that destroyed and another detention for the weekend."

The kid complied, stuffing the DSi into one of his pockets faster than Revy could say "cocksucker". 

"Sorry", he shrugged sheepishly. "I've just been  _so_  addicted to this game, it's unreal."

"As unreal as your ability to see that your 'addiction' to that game is the same reason you're here?", Balalaika deadpanned. 

 _That_  shut the hippie up real quick. 

"Now then", the principal continued nonchalantly, pulling out her cell phone. "You're all here because you have done something stupid. So stupid, in fact, that you've earned yourselves seven and a half hours in the library--"

" _Wait_...seven and a half  _hours?!_ ", interjected Miss Queen of Daddy Issues. 

"On a  _Saturday_ ", the principal cut in. "Yes, Edith. And you just earned yourself another seven and a half hours here next Saturday for interrupting."

Edith gaped, but said nothing. That was good. Her voice was the most annoying thing about her, and Revy knew that for a fact. 

Balalaika turned to look the redhead in the eyes. Ice blue bored into amber, as if she could somehow put her at her mercy without even laying a single hand on her. 

Well...in a manner of speaking, she  _had_ already gotten Revy where she wanted her. She'd shown up here (God only knew why), and she was serving her sentence like she was supposed to. That wasn't to say she was alright with this punishment, though.

Because she wasn't. Not even close. She was fucking pissed. 

Detention just got fucking _worse._

"You will not talk", the blonde woman went on after a moment, dropping two pieces of notebook paper onto Edith and the jock kid's desk. She then moved over to the blonde hippie's desk. "You will not go to sleep." 

After dropping a piece of paper on the fucking A student's desk, she reached Revy's desk and bored her eyes into hers once more. 

"And you absolutely will  _not_ move from your seat for _any_ reason", the woman stated with finality. 

Revy narrowed her eyes. This fry-faced bitch seemed to think she could say and do anything she wanted to her. And it pissed her off.

She never should have come here in the first place. There were plenty of other better things she could spend her Saturday. Fuck all those teachers and their thinking, that jackass got what was coming to him. Or...he would've, if she hadn't been practically body-slammed by Mr...she couldn't pronounce his fucking last name, but he had body-slammed her to the fucking linoleum (that gave her some bruising, for _sure_ ) and gotten into a matter that wasn't even his fucking business.

She was _this_ fucking close to beating the shit out of her, shoving her uterus up her ass, and then leaving. Fuck whoever saw, and fuck the consequences. 

"Instead, you will each be writing an essay no less than 800 words", continued Balalaika, "that is due by the time you walk out of here. I'd give you some generic subject that your English teachers would hand you for exams and the like, but...I'll give you a subject I think you can somewhat humor me with."

"Why we're here spending seven and a half fuckin' hours on a _Saturday--_ ", Revy started to say. 

Immediately, ice blue eyes fiercely bore into the redhead as the sound of heels on carpet tapped their way to her desk. As soon as the short trip stopped, the principal's hands slammed on the hardwood table. 

It silenced Revy for a second. But it sure as hell didn't scare her. Not one. Fucking. Bit.

"Now, Rebecca", Balalaika began, gradually clenching her hands into fists.

"That ain't my  _name,_ ya sun-fu--"

" _Rebecca_ ", Balalaika cut Revy off sharply. "There are a lot of things that brats like you do to vex me that I can put up with. But there are two things you're doing that I just cannot stand. One is interrupting me when I'm giving out instructions, and the other is your absolutely _atrocious_ disposition. I would say that those things would make it worse for you, but you don't seem like the person that would care about either of those things. It's almost amusing though, considering you  _have_ decided to show up instead of facing truancy court."

" _Shut the fuck up!_ ", screeched the redhead, standing up out of her seat. Everyone inside the library was staring at her, but she couldn't fucking care less. "You have no fucking clue _who_ you're _talking to, you fucking whore!_ "

She was about to go on, but Balalaika, the cunt that she was, cut her off. 

"You're right", she conceded. Then, if it were possible, the look in her eyes became more...unsettling. 

And that was saying something. Revy wasn't intimidated by _anyone._  The only person that came close to doing so was her father. (Like hell she was ever going to admit that to anyone.) 

"In fact, you can explain who it is that you are in your essay", Balalaika continued. "And you can even do so for next Saturday." 

The blonde woman turned to the other students seated in front of Revy. "That goes for the rest of you. Eight hundred words minimum should be written on your papers about who it is that you think you are." Ice blue eyes landed on the wrestler.

"And when I say 800 words", she said, "I. _Mean._ 800 words. 800 _different_ words. Not just one word repeated over and over. This isn't a postmodern art class I'm in charge of here." 

Revy  _seethed_ at this. Her line of sight was now a lava-hot red. 

"My office is right down the hallway", added the fry-faced woman, pointing one pink, long-nailed finger at the double doors. "I have other matters to tend to there. But I will stop by and check up on your progress. I expect you to adhere to what I've instructed to the letter."

Those infuriating icy blue eyes locked with Revy's murderous amber ones once more. "Oh, and don't worry about restroom breaks, Rebecca. Of course you'll be given permission to use the restroom. As amusing as it may sound to some of your peers, I wouldn't want your already frail ego to seep out onto the carpet. Sadly, that carpet only gets cleaned after every semester."

With that, she made her way out of the library. 

What little restraint Revy had vanished into thin air. She flipped the stupid chair on its back and charged at Balalaika, just ready to tear her apart limb by limb with her bare hands. Ready to gouge her eyes out from her head.

Ready to squeeze her fucking _life_  out of her throat. 

Then she found herself on the floor, face planted on the grey carpet, with her arms pinned behind her, and a huge weight on top of her back. The redhead struggled, screaming and cursing up a storm, but the Muscle-Boy would not relent, his grip on her not weakening in the slightest. 

" _Let me go!_ ", she screeched. "Fuckin' asshole, get the fuck off of me and _let me go!_ "

Frustratingly enough, the bastard still continued to limit her movement, even as she lurched forward violently and screaming an almighty "FUCK YOU!" at the rage-inducing sight of one of the double doors shut and the principal starting to make her way down the hallway, her shitty fucking high heels clacking on the tiled floor. 

**Author's Note:**

> Before I saw the movie, I knew for a FACT that Revy was definitely going to have the role of John, and Dutch was gonna have the role of Andrew. I also figured since Benny and Brian were kinda on the geeky side, that Benny was gonna have Brian's part, and I had no choice but to give Rock the role of Allison.
> 
> It took FOREVER, I mean, FOREVER for me to figure out who was gonna have Claire's part. I originally wanted it to be Shenhua, as 1) I am a MASSIVE fan of hers, and 2) she kinda fit the role of a pampered rich girl. I mean, the makeup, the nails, the sass...yeah. But ultimately, I realized that the role of Claire should go to Eda, seeing as though she and Revy have more chemistry than the latter and Shenhua. She seems more of a loyal friend to have in a tough spot, too, especially as Shenhua literally tried to kill both her and Revy at one point. Plus her behavior towards Rock in season 2, not to mention her attire, especially as the season progressed, kinda had something to do with it. (Granted, she's not as gussied up as Shenhua, but I can see her delving into SOME form of makeup and jewelry--I mean, she DID in season 2, with the lipstick and the earrings and all that.
> 
> Rock and Benny were the TOUGHEST to figure out what to do with. When I watched The Breakfast Club, Brian exhibited traits I could see more in Rock, such as the nervous stuttering and placating to ease uncomfortable situations; that's exhibited by the latter early on in Black Lagoon. He does have a dark side that's developed as the series progresses, especially in Roberta's Blood Trail. (YES, I know, that's non-canon, don't skin me alive.) Granted, he's no basket case, but he can be manipulative when he wants to be, somewhat like Allison.
> 
> Benny exhibits the geeky side of Brian, but the former much more mellow and easygoing than Allison and Brian. Though I don't think Benny could be classified as "pushover". I'm still figuring out how he's gonna fit in being himself and contributing to the overall plot... :/
> 
> However, even with these things in mind, one thing that I KNOW is gonna be a bit of a challenge is keeping characters IN CHARACTER. I thought about it a while, and although, as a joke, I put it in the tags, I do know for a fact that even though Revy, Eda, Dutch, Benny, and Rock may have some traits of the characters in The Breakfast Club, they're not John, Claire, Andrew, Brian, and Allison. They're their own persons, in a totally different and more hella crazy universe. 
> 
> And both universes, for some reason, decided to combine and make...this. :/
> 
> So...yeah.
> 
> R&R?


End file.
